Tuesday, January 16, 2018

Even the doctor is at risk: #domesticviolence #women

Erudite Partner dragged me and my influenza to Kaiser yesterday. I sure didn't expect to see this on a huge banner next to the check in desk.
In smaller type, she explained:

After six years of dating and living together, I married my husband. Almost immediately, our situation changed dramatically. He went from being very charming and attentive to controlling, manipulative, jealous, and domineering. Although what happened between us never escalated into physical violence, in retrospect it was clearly an abusive relationship. He used verbal abuse, isolation from my family and friends, and poorly concealed threats to control my behavior. He began destroying my possessions and throwing away things of value to me. When I would try to leave a non-productive argument, he would physically block my path.

Even though I am a physician and frequently counsel patients in similar circumstances. I did not recognize that I was experiencing domestic violence. The turning point for me was when his pregnant mistress came to my house to "discuss things." Within two days I had seen an attorney and within eight months we were divorced. At that point, we had been married 15 years and had two children.

Because my husband, his mistress and I all work at Kaiser Permanente, the affair quickly became public knowledge. My entire department and many other staff members knew about my situation. I had the support of all my co-workers who had any knowledge of the situation. I kept working the whole time and because of my emotional upset, I deliberately become more vigilant in the work place. I knew my clinical effectiveness could be affected, so I asked my chief and my medical assistant to keep an eye on me, which was a tremendous help.

It's been four years since the divorce. I recently started dating again and currently have a very supportive partner.

51 year old
Italian, Northern European female
Kaiser Permanente Physician

***
As for the flu, I've still got it, still shivering and baking, but probably am not on the way to pneumonia. Bakson. This is getting tiresome.

1 comment:

Rain Trueax said...

I hope you had gotten the pneumonia vaccine as it might protect you (nothing seems totally fail safe). I can't do the flu shot, but the pneumonia shot (have had the improved one and the first one) doesn't make me sick like the flu shot did. I am trying to avoid crowds and lots of hand washing when out at all. This is a scary flu season from all I am reading